I really don't know why God does the things that He does, I just know that He does them for a reason. I cannot always say that I am willing to jump right into the next adventure that He has for me, because honestly, I am not. Ninety-nine percent of the time when God decides to change my life in a drastic way, or sometimes not even so drastic, I only come kicking and screaming and throwing myself on the floor. He has to pick me up, dust me off and pull me along behind Him as He leads the way.
What makes me think I know better than He does? What is it about me that feels the need to be in control? I wish I knew...Actually, I do know. I have always been in control of me....it has seemingly worked up until now, or so I thought. In all actuality, it has not worked. I have done things on my own for far too long never really understanding that my way is not "best". At its best, my way is not even good.
I have realized over the last few weeks that it is all about my perspective, the way that I view myself and the world as a whole. I have been caught up in thinking as the world thinks. I have not allowed God to renew my mind which then releases me of the common perspective of man. My thoughts have been my thoughts; they have not been God's. Therein lies the problem.
As I have studied Romans 12 this week it all makes perfect sense. My perspective is off. I view the things that happen to me and around me in relation to how they affect me. This is not the biblical way, not how God would have me to think. I must allow Him to renew my mind and to completely take over in that area. I know this is the area that pulls me down the most when I do not take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and allow Him to do His thought changing process in me.
I welcome Him here and plead with Him to not give up on me. I know that He is ever patient and lovingly graceful. I know He has what it takes to see this work through to the end. I only worry that I don't have what it takes. Actually, I know I don't, but He can create it in me along the way. So here we go...yet another journey; one that will end gloriously as He continues His work in me.