October 21, 2009

To Have Unconditional Faith

The difference between conditional faith and unconditional faith... I've never thought much about it until yesterday. What if a traumatic event occurred in my life tomorrow, would I still have faith in the only One who could heal my brokenness????

Up until yesterday, I have always thought that a tragedy in my life would be the end of life as I knew it, that I would not be able to get up off the floor ever again; but I received a little perspective from God yesterday.

So, what if someone I loved dearly was taken from me, or I was stricken with a terminal illness? What would I do? How would that affect my life? My faith? God showed me very patiently through one of Beth Moore's stories that went something like this: "What if any of those things did happen? What would you do?" asked God. My response, "Well, I would cry, a lot". Then God said, "Okay, then what?" "Well, Lord, I would go into a depression." "Okay then what?" He asked. "I would spend a lot of time on the floor, asking why." "Okay, then what?" He said. "I would read my Bible to find comfort." "Okay, then what? He said. "Then I would miss serving You and desire to be in ministry again." "Okay, then what?" He asked. "Then I would realize that if something horrible happens then YOU ARE STILL YOU."

I spent this morning crying my eyes out and pleading with the Lord to allow me to have that kind of unconditional faith. I don't want faith that is contingent upon bad things not happening to me. When the hard things happen, I want to cling to Him because it is what I have always done. He showed me last night that I cannot rest my faith on things not happening because if they ever do, my entire life support will be taken away.

I need Him now more than I ever have. And I pray that as I learn to love Him more and more, I will be able to see that unconditional faith is worth far more than anything I could hope for. He will still be God, always. If tragedy, then GOD!

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